I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize