C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
