it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
