this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
