while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
