we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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