What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
