One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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