I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
