He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
