it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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