Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
