i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
love makes seman taste better
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
