forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize