Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
