Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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