ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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