we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
