Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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