How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
