The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
