Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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