before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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