Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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