Kiss
Puke
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You can't motorboat a personality
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize