you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
