Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
