hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize