it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
