I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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