I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
