I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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