I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them