We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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