He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
