You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The air was thick with penises
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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