i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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