But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
