You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
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My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
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ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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