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Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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