I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.