Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i just wanna soil my oats bro

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  (949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck
  Replies (8) Good night (995) Bad night (702)
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  (347): View more from New York

  A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!

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  (347): A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me! http://tfl.nu/ye87
  Replies (16) Good night (1134) Bad night (1374)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

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  (778): i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome. http://tfl.nu/42ph
  Replies (15) Good night (2515) Bad night (760)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6254) Bad night (1030)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (12557) Bad night (974)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012

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  (732): I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012 http://tfl.nu/8oo2
  Replies (56) Good night (786) Bad night (3606)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (34) Good night (5874) Bad night (1292)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.

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  (708): Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person. http://tfl.nu/v0my
  Replies (12) Good night (4231) Bad night (1255)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.

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  (519): I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus. http://tfl.nu/vafe
  Replies (5) Good night (4927) Bad night (876)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.

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  (208): I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism. http://tfl.nu/ixxa
  Replies (15) Good night (2544) Bad night (1066)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear

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  (208): I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear http://tfl.nu/1f0a
  Replies (11) Good night (4584) Bad night (919)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.

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  (812): Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords. http://tfl.nu/1djr
  Replies (4) Good night (2023) Bad night (592)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs

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  (224): bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs http://tfl.nu/2u5i
  Replies (8) Good night (837) Bad night (412)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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  (404): Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps http://tfl.nu/z4wh
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (377)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  Fuck you, my tits are fabulous

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  (507): Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch? (1-507): Fuck you, my tits are fabulous http://tfl.nu/jvov
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (360)

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