first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
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It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.