Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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  (619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant! http://tfl.nu/toiz
  Replies (18) Good night (1835) Bad night (712)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?

  (636): View more from Missouri

  you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?

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  (816): you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint? (636): you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint? http://tfl.nu/hfu5
  Replies (29) Good night (1023) Bad night (1711)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.

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  (713): I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan. http://tfl.nu/gm7k
  Replies (11) Good night (1659) Bad night (4666)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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  (215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l
  Replies (2) Good night (2399) Bad night (966)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?

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  (313): Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today? http://tfl.nu/iyco
  Replies (3) Good night (1863) Bad night (884)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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  (941): I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head. http://tfl.nu/zqfr
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (734)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?

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  (224): We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today? http://tfl.nu/c57g
  Replies (16) Good night (1656) Bad night (532)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.

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  (952): High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog. http://tfl.nu/sw6f
  Replies (5) Good night (1764) Bad night (482)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.

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  (201): This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw. http://tfl.nu/lq9h
  Replies (7) Good night (774) Bad night (1092)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.

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  (717): Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it. http://tfl.nu/5u1i
  Replies (4) Good night (1339) Bad night (468)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.

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  (206): I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/0ln2
  Replies (7) Good night (2658) Bad night (492)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk

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  (253): Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk http://tfl.nu/8gkz
  Replies (2) Good night (350) Bad night (558)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.

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  (251): Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling. http://tfl.nu/lulr
  Replies (4) Good night (361) Bad night (835)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.

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  (580): I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her. http://tfl.nu/o5ak
  Replies (6) Good night (700) Bad night (320)
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  (190): View more from

  All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way

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  (190): All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way http://tfl.nu/sfii
  Replies (0) Good night (371) Bad night (244)

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