thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
farters have to be the big spoon...
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.