At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My penis needs a shock collar
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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