Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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