I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
