um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
