you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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