Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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