life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
