I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
