She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
