we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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