Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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