So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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