Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
