Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
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