Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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