when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
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I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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