There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
