i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
