better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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