i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
