Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
As shirtless as possible
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
